Friday, October 23, 2009

Best Practical Joke Ever

Even year later, this is still the funniest bit from Scare Tactics.
2 minutes of pure funny. Play.

Friday, October 9, 2009

I never knew that getting a bagel could make me want to go on a rampage.

I never knew that getting a bagel could make me want to go on a rampage.
After a nice workout and on my way to work, I stopped at a Coffee Bean (not Starbucks this time). As I stepped out of the car the cool morning air greeted me, and I felt good about the day. I step into the store and the line is short, excellent! In no time, I get to the counter, and this exchange follows (after the greetings and pleasantries):
Barista: What would you like?
Me: A small latte, and a toasted cinnamon bagel please…just plain please.
Barista: No problem. Would you like cream cheese with the bagel?
Me (still not in rampage mode): No, just the bagel please.
Barista: How about butter?
Me (slightly miffed): Plain bagel is fine. Thanks!
Barista: So, no type of jams or anything?
Me (in my head): Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Shut up about the jams and cream cheese!
What the hell is wrong with some people?! How many times do I need to refuse creme cheese, butter, jams, or honey? You are not being helpful when you keep asking idiotic questions about possible spreads for my bagel. Oh yes, now that you’ve asked me fifty times I’ll just get a bagel with creme cheese. I wonder why I didn’t think of that myself. Weird!
--Compliments of the Sarcasm Society.
If you ever have to get rid of bodies with fish, don't use goldfish. It takes weeks. Just trust me.
I'm at home watching Monsters vs. Aliens & as soon as the in-laws leave, we'll probably pop in a movie.  Kidding, LOL!
Trying to eat healthier by focusing on seasonal foods. Thus, the Frankenberry.
Recent studies have shown that nine out of every ten Americans need to shut up.
Sure, I have a minute to talk. But I only had a second to listen, and you wasted it asking that crappy question.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

People of Walmart.

Where do they find these folks?  
Oh, yeah, Walmart! LOL!